Cock a Doodle

It Looks Like a Cock - Ben and Jack


A book of everyday objects from clouds to Zucchini's does not sound too exciting but of course the hook here is that all these things LOOK LIKE COCKS!!
A brief search of the internet will quickly reveal that there is little in this world that can not be misrepresented as a male member.


Most are pretty innocent, accidental or tricks of the light but when it comes to company logo's (below) you have to wonder if people in marketing were asked to clear their desks!?

Click image to enlarge

Anal-Retentive

How to Good-Bye Depression if you Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way - Hiroyuki Nishigaki

Is this effective? Your guess is as good as mine but the next time I feel inexplicably morose I will give it a go and report back in all haste.

Sounds about right!

It looks a lot like Mr Nishigaki was constricting his anus as he wrote the cover notes!
"I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth" 

Can't Live Without You

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! - Cynthia Heimel


A Good question and one which sounds like it should be sung in time to the strains of a Country and Western backing track.


Cynthia is considered something of a real life Carrie Bradshaw.....But an 80' Carrie Bradshaw with big hair and without a face that looks like a foot.


A little poking about on Red Tube You tube uncovered this little rock classic by Mayday Parade which shares it's title with that of the book.

Cynthia in strip form - Click image to enlarge

Where the White Women at?

How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men - Adam Quan (single)


I've gleened a few helpful hints from this. Firstly, white women don't like tentacles. I shouldn't take photographs of them and print their images on body pillows. I should not ask them for "Saki" neither should I vaccum pack their used underwear or dress them up as school girls......Go figure!!


Unhappy customer / reviewer Kenneth Han (single) writes.
"I read this book and its like reading a 7th graders essay on dating, the book is completely disorganized, repeats itself and is riddled with grammar errors everywhere! I'm surprised the publishers allowed this to sell without correcting even the sentence structures on the first page! dont waste your money." 

Really Ken? What on earth did you expect!?

 

Don't Panic!!

Fighting the Fuzzy Wuzzy - E A De Cosson

According to Cpl. Jones "They don't like it up em!'"
A less than P.C title considering this actually went into print in 1990. Tells the story of Sir Gerald Graham's field force at Suakin. 


As I couldn't find a cover pic for this title I made my own. Not only is it rather fetching it's also rather libellous, a law suit waiting to happen.


Publish and be damned!!

Suakin Mosque

How Green?!

How Green Were the Nazis? - Franz-Josef Bruggemeier

My guess would be not f*cking very!!
But hell, what do I know. Among their other more dubious accomplishments they created - according to the author - nature reserves, sustainable forests (see cover), clean air policies (Oh come on!!) and developed (with forced labour) the Autobahn system to bring your average German closer to the beauty of nature.

In the same sort of vein.
The Green and the Brown: A History of Conservation in Nazi Germany (Studies in Environment and History)




Adolf  WOW's the crowd with his Green Yo Yo



How Queer

Queer Doings at QUANTHAM - Wilfrid Robertson


A suspicious looking bollard on the cover and no such place as Quantham only add to the mystery of this most mysterious of thrillers.
Quite a prolific writer through the 40's, 50's and 60's with many of his titles still in print.


Still available by the same author.


Dunkirk Dunes to Libyan Sand
The Lost Gold Bars ... Illustrated by S. Drigin

The Island Plot

Print off for a rather
fetching bookmark